Parents are the well from which we keep drawing water selfishly. Where does the well refill itself?

Women with children are much more besides being a mother, but the world insists on seeing us primarily from this lens. When I got married, I was often advised by my elders that I must give more attention to my home and less to my work as my family needs me.

When the children were born, it was the children who ‘needed’ me and now that they are grown up, other relationships seem to need me. But am I tied to these relationships only by need and not love?

Jeroze Dalal, Director of Operations at Novartis, whom I interviewed for my book ‘Have the women left Venus’ shared, “Abroad, all mothers are working so does it mean that children don’t study? Of course they do. What about the father? It is a very deep-rooted mind set of the men especially, that children need the mother. I don’t agree. I had a mother who was working. I never complained that she should spend all her time with me. Of course she was there when I needed her. My dad was also encouraging but my father in law was most encouraging. He used to encourage me to leave home and let the house help or other women handle household chores. So when I told him that my company was sending me on a seven-day tour, he said “You must be good, that’s why they are sending you.” One person makes a lot of difference.

I find that my children suffered less from neglect and more from pampering I did due to my guilt of leaving them. Children are like putty—they will get used to anything. It is up to us what we want to teach them.

According to Hindu philosophy, among the 64 forms of Shiva, Ardhanareeshwara is a form which means ‘the Lord that is half woman’. Ardhanareeshwara represents the fusion of characteristics of both gender. Shiva thus represents the channelling of one’s power; which springs from an acute awareness of one’s divinity, not limited by gender; an intuitive awareness of the emotional nooks as much as the logical crannies.

I want all those who are reading this today to decide how they want to celebrate this day. To me, motherhood is a well of love and not a gender.

Also read: Plugging the leaking pipeline

Image courtesy: shutterstock.com

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